Procrastination and Fear of Failure

I tend to procrastinate if I let myself, so I’ve tried my share of techniques to keep it in check. At some point, I read that a fear of failure can cause procrastination, and this really resonated with me. Realizing this has helped me understand where my urge to put things off is coming from.

If I have a large task in front of me, my mind rushes through everything that needs to be done and affirms how difficult it will be. I imagine (mostly subconsciously) all the ways that my output will be less than ideal, and that is what keeps me from taking action.

So as a quick mental technique, I recognize that this fear of failure is acting as a roadblock and tell myself that I’ll just bang out a first effort that will definitely be of poor quality. I know it will be bad, and that will be OK. Polishing that will be a task left for future me.

In reality, it won’t be perfect, but neither will it be terrible. Polishing it into something that I can be proud of will not be as hard as it seems now, especially once I have a first draft to work with.

Music of the City - an Art Project Idea

I’ve had an idea for a fun art project in my head for many years now, and I don’t see myself going through with it any time soon, so I’ll compromise by just writing about it.

The idea is to photograph people (with permission) who are wearing headphones in the city. Their photo will be shown along with the song they happened to be listening to. It would be interesting to see if a viewer would see any correlation between a person’s visual appearance and their taste in music. The prompt “What song was playing right now” is much more interesting than “What is your favorite music,” and some people might think that I caught them at just the wrong time, making things more fun for me.

Since the subjects will generally be preoccupied, I imagine I’d design a small pamphlet that quickly describes the project and hand that out to people who don’t look too busy.

Maybe one day.

A Father's Bookshelf

For a long time, I’ve avoided collecting too much stuff. I buy Kindle versions of books whenever possible, but there is a small shelf for the few books I have carried around with me over the years. My son, who is not quite two years old, will sometimes rummage through my books and leave them in a heap once he realizes there are no pictures, but it made me remember what my own father’s bookshelf was like for me.

I’m pretty sure I found Calvin and Hobbes on his bookshelf, and I ended up reading it countless times as I grew up. I found The Hobbit, which led to The Lord of the Rings, and then whatever other high fantasy I could get my hands on. I found The Royal Road to Card Magic, and my interest in card magic ended up being a pretty big part of my life after that. I didn’t read Gödel, Escher, Bach, but I recognized it from that bookshelf when I was introduced to it many years later.

A bookshelf creates serendipity. I encountered those books early, before anybody would have thought, “Ah, I know just the book that would interest this young man.” And discovering something of my dad’s and taking it for myself was much more exciting than being told, “Hey come look at this thing I liked when I was your age.”

So, since I’m the father now, I went and bought a big bookshelf for myself. I want to go through my parents’ storage to reclaim my favorite books, and I’ll slowly fill out my own bookshelf with books I think are worth keeping around – just in reach for my kids to discover on their own.

Reimagining Chess with AlphaZero

Modern chess is the culmination of centuries of experience, as well as an evolutionary sequence of rule adjustments from its inception in the 6th century to the modern rules we know today. While classical chess still captivates the minds of millions of players worldwide, the game is anything but static. Many variants have been proposed and played over the years by enthusiasts and theorists. They continue the evolutionary cycle by altering the board, piece placement, or the rules—offering players “something subtle, sparkling, or amusing which cannot be done in ordinary chess.”

Using AlphaZero to evaluate modified rules, to see which would be the most productive is a really interesting application of the AI. You can evaluate beforehand whether a certain rule change would make the game less or more balanced.

Why Switch Cartridges Taste Awful

The Nintendo Switch is designed to be portable, so it doesn’t have a disc drive. Instead, its games come on cartridges, just like games for Nintendo’s handheld platforms stretching back to the original Game Boy. But there’s something different about Switch cartridges: They taste awful.

Update (March 2): In a statement emailed to Polygon, a Nintendo representative confirmed the theory that Switch cartridges are coated in a material that’s meant to dissuade people from putting the units in their mouths.

So Nintendo actually takes special steps to make their cartridges taste terrible, to keep people from swallowing them. That’s an attention to detail that I hadn’t even considered before.

Beautiful vs. Effective Prose

A long time ago, I fancied myself a writer and strove to write beautiful prose. I read a lot and borrowed from styles that I admired, but oftentimes my sentences ran on, and I relied on my thesaurus too heavily. But I enjoyed the process of writing and reached a familiarity with words that allowed me to simply let my thoughts flow through my fingers onto the page.

At university, I discovered The Elements of Style and quickly became an advocate instead of lean, effective prose. I strove to convey my thoughts using fewer words. Composition took more effort as I scrutinized each phrase. I was happy with the results, and I felt a deliberate craftsmanship that seemed more pronounced than before.

Then, I moved to Asia and began communicating primarily with people for whom English wasn’t their first language. I started using short, simple sentences that got straight to the point. If the purpose of writing is communication, then all that’s really important is to tell the other person what they need to know, right? Saying things in a fancy way will only complicate things.

It was around this time that I first saw the Simple English Wikipedia, and my first thought was, “Now this is the pinnacle of knowledge transfer. This is how you provide the most information to the most number of people as efficiently as possible.”

“But,” nagged a deep and quiet part of my mind, “that can’t be the full story. Poetry and literature, sure, it’s easy to set those aside and say maybe that it’s an art form, it’s writing for the sake of writing, and that’s why the pursuit of beauty can occur. Normal, day-to-day writing is not the same.

“What about, say, Journalism? That’s writing to share information, but when you recall the most esteemed journalists they aren’t the ones who write like a press release. They are those who have perfected their craft, who can shape their words into a compelling picture to evoke emotional reactions in the reader. Isn’t that what you should strive for?”

Yes, of course. Beautiful or effective? You want a lot of both. And unless you’re writing an instruction manual, sometimes prose needs to be beautiful to be effective. I haven’t taken writing seriously in a very long time, so unfortunately my writing now is not much of either, but I suppose now is a fine time to start looking for my best voice again.

Detroit: Become Human

In this review, I'll talk about a few parts of the game that stood out to me, and I'll do my best to do so while avoiding spoilers.

Detroit: Become Human is a story-heavy adventure game developed by Quantic Dream, the studio I knew best as the creators of Heavy Rain.

The story takes place in a future where androids are commonplace and indistinguishable from humans aside from a computer chip placed on their temple. Predictably, the androids are mistreated and repressed by humans, and you eventually find yourself in the middle of a robot uprising.

You assume the role of three different characters with interweaving narratives, and the actions you take as each character determine the course of the story. The result is a giant web of branching storylines with many different possible outcomes.

Roleplay

The key to making this type of game engaging is how well you can sympathize with and roleplay as the protagonists. If you understand the characters and their motivations – and can see the world through their eyes – each of the actions you take over the course of the story becomes more meaningful.

Robots do as they are told

In one early scene, you play as an android who is newly hired as a maid. You are set to performing menial tasks around the house, like picking up trash and washing dishes. Working through these tasks establishes your role as someone who does what they are told (It was even a little unnerving how eagerly I worked on these missions, happy to keep checking off finished work in the mission list). Because of this initial set-up, taking an action that goes against your owner’s orders becomes a much more meaningful scene.

What should I want to do?

While playing as another of the three main characters, an early scene presented what I thought would be a difficult, morally ambiguous decision to make. But as I was considering what the best action might be, the cutscene continued and the character made his own decision without any input from me. I was relieved that the difficult choice wasn’t my responsibility, and this scene was very important in establishing who this character is and how he behaves in certain situations.

But it was this character that I had the most difficulty playing as the story progressed. I was never sure if I should make decisions based on “What I want to do” or “What I think he would do” or “What I think he should do”. Do I follow my understanding of this person’s personality and values, or do I push him to change and break out of his mold? Probably because of my indecision, I ended up not being able to do a good job of either. Seeing the conclusion of the story showed me which decision would have led to a more positive ending, but the right path wasn’t clear to me on my first playthrough.

Exploring the Story

Detroit: Become Human shows you how your decisions affect the story in the form of a map with branches leading to different outcomes.

The story map of the first chapter
The story map of the first chapter

I’m not sure if this is a feature common to adventure games (I hadn’t seen it before), but this was a godsend when making multiple playthroughs. You can even jump to a point in the story that you had already seen and start playing again from that point, free to make different decisions to unlock new parts of the story. You can’t help but wonder what would have changed if you acted a different way, and this lets you see without having to start the game from the beginning and skip through 80% identical cutscenes. It was because of this freedom and ease of access that Detroit: Become Human became the first game in recent memory in which I unlocked 100% of achievements.

Purists might say that this ability to jump around the story detracts from the experience, but I honestly think I wouldn’t have played the game a second time without it. As a result, this feature is what allowed me to experience the amazing story in its entirety.

If the developers had chosen to design a game that presents the story from start to finish in the best way possible, they might not have included this map. I think that many existing adventure games had this approach. But instead, I think this game chose to present the story including all of the branching outcomes in the best way possible. None of the paths is the one correct path. They all tell parts of the same story, and I was very glad to have had the complete experience.

Box Line Text: A minimal whiteboard app

This is a great implementation of an extremely minimal whiteboard app. There is no UI, and you can click to add text or click+drag to add boxes and lines. Zoom options in your browser will change the size, and you can save the HTML if you want to keep a copy.

It’s probably not enough for work meetings, but I thought it was a great, fun product.